A Grandfather’s Touch

Hello I am new to the course and I am trying to write a Memoir about a very tragic time in my life please read my writing from lesson 1 and provide feedback.

 

 

It all started with a touch. A touch that seemed accidental at the time. You know one of those brushes in passing or not looking where your going.

I had always considered him to be the most important person in my life. When no one else cared Papa did. He always seemed to pull up to the house when my eyes couldn’t possibly cry anymore. He knew that I needed him and he was always there. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that he touched me.

I remember being in the kitchen at my grandmothers house sitting on a wooden stool aching from the raise of the wood on its seat. everyone liked this particular stool and would race to the kitchen to sit in it first. My grandmother was cooking lamb chops and prepping her famous Macaroni and cheese. I knew I would be getting the boot soon because she was dedicated to keeping her recipe a secret. before I made it to the crust Papa walked in to the kitchen and hollered “hey grands” like he always did. We all lined up to give Papa his kiss on the cheek. I was 4th in line, right behind my cousin Yari. She needed Papa just as much as I did. When it was my turn I jumped up with excitement on my tip toes and said “hello Papa” when I leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek I felt it. The touch. My body froze and my sandwich hit the floor. I quickly snapped out of my state picked up my sandwich and placed it in the trash.

Papa continued you speak as usual and grandma hollered at me about dropping food on her floor. My ears were muffled but I could tell she was speaking to me. It never left me. I could still feel it on my breast as if he was still there. I knew it was an accident but something about it frightened and confused me.

About christinaisreal

My name is Christina I am a Deaf Education Middle School teacher. I have a BAC in Exceptional Education and a MS in Deaf Education. I am one of four children. I have experienced many traumas in my life, I have mental health issues, and I grew up in very poverish conditions. This memoir is more than just writing to me. It is a release of my soul onto paper.
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11 Responses to A Grandfather’s Touch

  1. Angela says:

    Hi Christina

    I hope you can find the strength to continue to ‘release your soul onto paper’. I know writing is cathartic and in a way, will help you. Some of my writing is deep and I haven’t shared it yet, though I am writing at least!

  2. Christina McCreary says:

    Thank you. Yes that is my goal for this program to release some of the pinned up pain.

  3. weng says:

    I like your style of writing. There is some poetry into the prose. Keep wrting and honing this particular skill and thank you for sharing this memory of your Grandfather.

  4. vondaseals says:

    You captured that tragic moment beautifully. I could see it in my mind’s eye. Keep writing!

  5. Ceeanna says:

    Hi What a shock for you to experience him touching you inappropriately and then almost to wonder if it happened, how could he have done this to you? As if your whole world changed in a second. Difficult to live through. I think you have told the story well and I hope it helps to have expressed it.

    • Christina McCreary says:

      Thank you, your comments and encourage me to express myself more. Some things are toxic if they remain pinned inside.

  6. mary says:

    Christina,
    First, I applaud your courage on sharing your experience with us. Two questions occur — how old were you at the time of your Papa’s actions? And, do you attribute your “Mental Health Issues” to his behavior toward you? I ask because I am an incest survivor but have never been able to put pen to paper around those years. You may have helped me along toward that goal. And I thank you for that.

    Mary

    • Christina McCreary says:

      Hello Mary,
      Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. Ithe started when I was 11 years old and it lasted 4 years. I never told anyone in my family or anyone else until may 2016 before I moved to Texas my counselor encouraged me to finally free those memories.

      I inherited my mental health issues from my father. He has bi polar disorder.

      I have clinical depression from him and then I have PTSD because of traumas I experienced in life. One being what papa did to me.

      I’m sorry you had to experiences incest. How old were you?

  7. Carmelita says:

    Hi Christina
    Your story is very touching, but I do have some problems with it. First, explain what you mean by “need” “She needed Papa just as much as I did.” Was this a need of comfort; of assurance; of a loving guardian?” Your story is filled with emotional outbursts which is good, and keeps your reader reading, which is what you want.
    However, I think it read a little too fast. By that I mean, try to fill in some of the gaps.
    Perhaps you could give the reader some background on your characters; grandma, or even Papa himself. Also one sentence in your story is left kind of dangling: “Before I made it to the crust…..? I am assuming you mean the sandwich you were eating at the time. Once again, I really enjoyed this episode, and hope you continue with it.
    Carmen

    • Christina McCreary says:

      Hello,

      When I said she needed it is was referring to her being in a position where no one cared for her other than papa. Same as me.

      Can you give me some examples of how to fill in the gaps?

      My goal was to open with this dramatic scene and then start from the beginning to show each characters role.

      What do you think?

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