I should not have planned this trip. <\/p>\n
First nigh of seven more to go. Oh my God! This bed feels like a brick. However, will I sleep? Whatever was I thinking!?
\nNothing is going as I had planned it. There has to be a warmer, softer way to help him come to his senses. I should not have planned this trip. God Please let me know one more time that this is your plan.
\nI have been on many remote hunting and fishing trips with Dick. Before, when out in the wilderness, he would be so confidant, peaceful, and relaxed; he would truly be in his element. He has always put our safety and well being first and foremost, making sure that every \u201cT\u2019 was crossed and every \u201ci\u201d dotted.
\nThis trip is different. There are a few t\u2019s and I\u2019s left undone. There is worry on his face, a nervousness radiating from his being, I can\u2019t name it, but I can surely feel it. I see no good can come from telling him about the sleeping bag and pads, won\u2019t make them one bit warmer, nor the bed softer.
\nI wonder if he is missing his evening drinks.
\nAs a young Eskimo boy, Dick grew up in a Catholic orphanage, in Holy Cross, Alaska on the Yukon River where hunting and fishing was a way of existence. Everyone learned how to read the signs in Nature and to survive in all kinds of conditions. I knew nothing of this world of his, so I have always, put my trust, and well being, and life in his hands, and in the past he has done a great job.
\nIt has been three years since we have been on a hunting trip. The week before this trip I had grave concerns about this getaway.
\nGod were you trying to tell me something?
\nIn May I talked to our Doctor, who was also our friend who knows us well, and abut my anxieties with Dicks drink. I told him that divorce seems to be my only way out of this dilemma. He was also concerned that Dick had a serious alcohol problem. He has been our friend long before the problem drinking started, and knows the great love we had for each other. He suggested that I go to a twelve- step program for the family and friend who have a problem with a loved ones drinking.
\nI had played all my card and had no where else to turn. Besides, how can I tell all our family and friends that I am devoicing this wonderful man. I have gone to great lengths to show that our relationship continues to be blissful, and in public, we look and act like the perfect couple.
\nI gave the twelve-step program a try. To my surprise I meet people who had been, and were in my situation. I heard stories about their loved ones who no longer drank and how happy they are. I attended meetings, read all the books, and I have a sponsor, and she tells me that I have to put us both in the hands of God. Although. I am disappointed that no one has told me how to make my husband stop drinking, but I am determined to find a way.
\nThen it was the first day of September, the first day of hunting season. I have been talking a lot to God and I am sure that my \u201cbright idea\u201d Of how to get Dick to stop drinking came from him.
\nYes! A hunting trip would be just the thing for Dick. It would get him back doing what he so loved doing. We have had many wonderful times on earlier trips; and these were some of the times that we felt the closest.
\nI call Dick at work.
\n\u201cTelecommunications, June speaking,\u201d his secretary answered.
\n\u201cHi June, can I speak with Dick?\u201d
\n\u201cSure, I\u2019ll ring you though.\u201d
\nDick answers, \u201chello Betty Jo, what\u2019s going o?\u201d
\nUsing my excited voice, \u201cOh I just had this bright idea about us going on a hunting trip to Kodiak, and at the same time we can visit Ted and Miss Norma. It has been such a long time since we were on a fun hunting trip.\u201d
\nSilence… I speak in my wee voice, \u201care you there?\u201d
\n\u201cOh yes, just thinking, Dick relied,.
\n\u201cI\u2019ll talk to the guys up here about some good hunting spots over there.\u201d
\nNow I\u2019m really excited, \u201cSo we\u2019ll go!?\u201d
\n\u201cLet me do some checking around.\u201d
\n\u201cIt will be good for us,\u201d I continued, \u201cyou know how much you enjoy hunting.\u201d
\n\u201cOk , you check around and let me know what you find out.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019ll call you tonight>\u201d he said.
\n\u201cOK bye.\u201d Yes! We are going! I yell to myself.
\nSo\u2026 I talked Dick into going on a big hunt. I was feeling strong and ready for this big challenge.
\nDick made reservations with Fish and Game for the Frazer Lake Cabin, but it was only available for the last hunt of the season- maybe not the best time of year, but Kodiak is two hundred and fifty miles south of Anchorage, and the climate is much milder. I was so excited! I could hardly wait to go.
\nNow it is November, and Dick\u2019s Drinking has picked up, and I feared that he would pack a bottle for the trip. We have never taken alcohol on our hunting and fishing trips. Alcohol doesn\u2019t mix with guns, bears and boats.
\nI went back to our Doctor, and told him that we had planned a remote hunting trip, but I am fearful that Dick would take alcohol this time, and I am also worried about hurting his feelings. He told me to plan to go. \u201c But\u2026 if he packs a bottle, do not go.\u201d
\nI was prepared to stand firm and back away at the last minute. There was no bottle packed and here we are at Frazer Lake.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I should not have planned this trip. First nigh of seven more to go. Oh my God! This bed feels like a brick. However, will I sleep? Whatever was I thinking!? Nothing is going as I had planned it. There … Continue reading