{"id":805,"date":"2014-10-11T21:41:03","date_gmt":"2014-10-11T21:41:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/?p=805"},"modified":"2014-10-12T19:55:57","modified_gmt":"2014-10-12T19:55:57","slug":"say-hello-cry-goodbye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/?p=805","title":{"rendered":"Lesson 4 – Say Hello, Cry Goodbye."},"content":{"rendered":"

This lesson was not the easiest to write. I hope you stick with it as I felt I\u00a0had to give you the whole memoir. Again, your comments and critique is welcomed. Enjoy<\/p>\n

Say Hello, Cry Goodbye.<\/b><\/i><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Not even the expanse of deep ocean and variant geographical states, stopped my conversations with my mother. When I needed a sounding board my mother was that patient person. During a time in my life when everything wasn’t all sunshine and unicorns, my mother was on the other line. There were times, when it seemed like she read my mind and with the softness of her words, she took my worries out of sight. We also shared plenty of stories and laughter, and whenever one of us had a birthday, my mother would call us up and joyfully sing Happy Birthday; a tradition that I make sure get’s done each year for my children and sisters.<\/p>\n

*******The year was 2009 and the sun had finally won the battle against\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the mottled bluish\u2013gray clouds. Columns of yellow danced across the housetops outside searching to turn the shadows into a soft light. It finally penetrated our patio doors and cast shimmering fingers across my living room floor. In front of me sat seven large bags filled with various sized presents, next to the bags, laid five different types of bright baubles and bows, Snowmen and Santa wrapping paper. My scissors and tape close at hand, I was ready to start the process of sorting, cutting, wrapping and labeling <\/span><\/span>the<\/span><\/span> kids Christmas gifts.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then the phone rang.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi Aunty Helen.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi Leanne, how are you?\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI’m good. <\/span><\/span>So… <\/span><\/span>I’m here in granny’s house and gran<\/span><\/span> wants to talk to you.\u201d I could hear shuffling in the background as Leanne handed the phone over to my mother.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother took a rattled breath in, \u201cHi, Helen.\u201d Her voice quieter than usual.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I smiled, \u201cHiya mam<\/span><\/span>, how are you feeling?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAh, you know me hanging on in there.\u201d She took another labored breath in. \u201cHow are you, the kids, and that precious…\u201d <\/span><\/span>m<\/span><\/span>y mother was having trouble controlling her breathing, it sounded like her lungs were being weighted down, slowing her breathing and her ability to speak… \u201cBaby girl in your<\/span><\/span>… Belly?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hearing my mother struggle breathing <\/span><\/span>was <\/span><\/span>disheartening, I put on a cheery voice and said, \u201cThe kids are doing good, excited to get to open double Christmas presents and our precious little girl…\u201d I took a deep breath in and rubbed my well round stomach, \u201cThe baby is doing well, Jason and I have also decided on her name.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou hav<\/span><\/span> \u2013\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I heard the phone make a clunking sound, my eyes <\/span><\/span>closed<\/span><\/span> as my heart sank. I <\/span><\/span>h<\/span><\/span>eard Leanne say, \u201cI’ll get it <\/span>gran<\/span><\/span>.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I carried on <\/span><\/span>like nothing had happened<\/span><\/span>, \u201cYes, her name will be Seren Charity Elsa.\u201d Tears welled in my eyes.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother cleared her throat, \u201cHer given name is Welsh, how wonderful. It means Star, you know.\u201d <\/span><\/span>Her<\/span><\/span> weighty breathing was hard to listen to over the <\/span><\/span>phone <\/span><\/span>but<\/span><\/span> s<\/span><\/span>he carried on talking, \u201cNow, why on earth do you want…\u201d it sounded like my mother had ‘air’ hunger. Finally, I heard the effortful breath in and on her exhale out she finished her sentence, \u201cto give her my name?\u201d She let out a raspy chuckle then added, \u201cElsa is an old name.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I lost control over my tears as they freely flowed, I sniffed and said, \u201cJason liked the name Star but I persuaded him to use the Welsh saying. <\/span><\/span>Mam<\/span>,<\/span> <\/span><\/span>your name is a beautiful and we would like Seren to have it become part of her’s too.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother started to sniffle as she said, \u201cI’d like that. Now, I’ll try to hang on till March, you’re coming home to have the baby aren’t you?\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That was the first whole sentence my mother <\/span><\/span>had <\/span><\/span>said, although towards the end of it, I could hear the fatigue in her voice, <\/span><\/span>she was <\/span><\/span>suffering and there was nothing I could do. I wiped away the drivel that trickled from my nose, as <\/span><\/span>the constant stream of <\/span><\/span>tears dripped off my jaw.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMam<\/span><\/span>…\u201d My heart sank. I didn’t know how we could afford to fly home to Wales. \u201cYes, we’re planning on that.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHelen, know that I love….\u201d My mother started gasping for air.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI love you too, mam<\/span><\/span> and thank \u2013<\/span><\/span> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2013 <\/span>Hi Helen.\u201d Said Leanne.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, h<\/span><\/span>ey<\/span><\/span> Leanne.\u201d <\/span><\/span>My stomach did a flip and <\/span><\/span>I fel<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span> queasy, as I could hear my mother in the background wheezing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGran<\/span><\/span> can’t hold the phone and talk for very long anymore. She<\/span><\/span>‘s<\/span><\/span> gone to lay down.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That feeling of a lump in my throat made its appearance, constricting <\/span><\/span>my air<\/span><\/span>. I tried hard to swallow it away,<\/span><\/span> as I said, <\/span><\/span>\u201cI understand.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI’d better go, I need to help Gran to bed<\/span><\/span> and Grampa needs his Weetabix.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That made me chuckle for a second, my dad had <\/span><\/span>always <\/span><\/span>his routine <\/span><\/span>at<\/span><\/span> 9’o’clock was his supper time, <\/span><\/span>which meant, two Weetabix with milk and a few dashes of sugar on top<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for being there with mam<\/span><\/span>. Give her and dad a big hug, and kiss from me, okay, let them know how much I love them.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Leanne and I sniveled at the same time.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTake care <\/span><\/span>Aunty <\/span><\/span>Helen.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou too, Leanne.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Click.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The phone receiver trembled in my hand, my eyes stung as the tears continued to stream down my cheeks. Dead air echoed in my ear as I stared blankly at those Christmas gifts, the gifts that sang out to me have a jolly holly Christmas. My other hand absent-mindedly gently rubbed my 7 month pregnant belly. I set the phone down, I looked at the gifts once more and decided they could wait. All I could do in that moment… Was sob.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

The festivities of Christmas came and went, with too m<\/span><\/span>uch turkey<\/span><\/span> and treats consumed. The old year was said goodbye to and the new one rang in. Then on Jan 5<\/span><\/span>th<\/span><\/span><\/sup><\/span> 2010 at <\/span><\/span>6<\/span><\/span>.30 am our phone rang and my stomach sank.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHelen.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My sister’s<\/span><\/span> voice seemed quieter, doleful. I answered,\u201cHey Jude.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In my heart, I knew the reason why she called. My sister <\/span><\/span>began to cry, <\/span><\/span>\u201cMam… Mammy died this morning.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Tears <\/span><\/span>streamed<\/span><\/span> down my face, <\/span><\/span>as we both cried in unison<\/span><\/span> and between <\/span><\/span>her <\/span><\/span>whimpers, Judith told me what had happened. I tried to absorb what she was saying, but I just couldn’t <\/span><\/span>and<\/span><\/span> didn’t want to.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

After a few minutes more Judith said, \u201cI’ve got to go down dads now.\u201d I choked up, my dad! My poor dad, how will he manage now, I thought. \u201cI’d best get going Helen, I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow okay.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I had no words to say, all I could do was let out a throaty, \u201cMmmhmm.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My sister hung up first and I sat on the sofa in my dark living room and broke my heart. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A numbing fog of sadness and loss invaded my head and body, as I remembered the last time we spoke. I wished I’d had more time to talk with her or wrote down all those tidbits of valuable information she’d given me over the years. I hadn’t even heard Jason come out of our bedroom, <\/span><\/span>until he stood in front of me<\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHelen, are you alright?\u201d He asked.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My puffy red eyes and blank look were all it took for him to know the reason why. Jason sat down next to me, opened his arms and I collapsed into them accepting the only comfort he could give me at that moment in time. Many hours passed and outside life moved on <\/span><\/span>and I knew I had to make that call.<\/span><\/span> I picked the phone as I<\/span><\/span> listened to that all familiar dial tone and a voice say hello. I told my ex-husband that my mother had died and I’d be there when our kids got home from school. Then, for the next few hours I sat on the sofa staring at the darkening skies outside, as I tried to figure out how I would tell my kids that their grandmother was no longer with us. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The<\/span><\/span>re is a saying,<\/span><\/span> every heartache makes you stronger, that you can rise above it and <\/span><\/span>as we <\/span><\/span>do w<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span> c<\/span><\/span>an find out what we’re made of. Yet, for me, in that moment all I felt was heavy hearted and grief stricken. Laying down on the sofa, I broke down and wept again.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*************<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was 30 weeks pregnant, I was advised by my doctor not to make the long flight home for my mother’s funeral. Too much stress for me and the baby. <\/span><\/span>The following week<\/span><\/span> I’d become<\/span><\/span>\u00a0more withdrawn <\/span><\/span>and t<\/span><\/span>he thought of food repulsed me, I only ate small amounts for the baby’s sake. I went about my days shuffling around in a mind fog <\/span><\/span>and t<\/span><\/span>he night before my mother’s funeral, I didn’t get much sleep, as\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the constant lime green glow of the numbers on my nightstand, kept informing me that it would soon be<\/span><\/span> 7am. That was a<\/span><\/span>\u00a0cheerless, gloomy day in which my bed and it’s soft, safe comforter kept me company.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

M<\/span><\/span>aneuver<\/span><\/span>ing<\/span><\/span> through crowds of fussy people, narrow aisles and ending up sitting in a blue straight backed, uncomfortable, airplane seat <\/span><\/span>at 35 weeks pregnant is not the best idea, however,<\/span><\/span> that’s what exactly what I did, with an over anxious husband by my side. After much going back and forth with my doctor and calls to my sister, Jason and I made the decision to fly home to Wales. The long flight was smooth without any drastic drops and turns with the accompany green faces. I on the other hand was the jittery and fidgety one. Unborn Seren didn’t seem to notice, she made herself known that all was well, as she tumbled, kicked and wiggled inside the safety of her squishy water womb. My brother-in-law met us at the airport and drove us<\/span><\/span>\u00a0to his <\/span><\/span>home <\/span><\/span>and as <\/span><\/span>I\u00a0<\/span><\/span>watched<\/span><\/span> the various building’s, trees and fields, my eyes sparkled with\u00a0<\/span><\/span>d<\/span><\/span>elighted<\/span><\/span> for the first time in a while…\u00a0Seeing the<\/span><\/span>\u00a0lush green, rolling hills of home, <\/span><\/span>I sighed and smiled, this<\/span><\/span> was\u00a0the much needed\u00a0<\/span><\/span>tonic I<\/span><\/span>‘<\/span>d<\/span>been craving<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Seeing my sisters smiling faces, warmed my heart, especially when Judith walked through the door with chips and gravy from the chip shop. Just the smell of them set my stomach into growling mode. After devouring my food like a starved crazed dog, we spent <\/span><\/span>the next couple of hours<\/span><\/span> catching up. Then Jason walked and I, waddled down to my dad’s house. As I approached the home I grew up in, my stomach star<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>ed churning, my palms became cold and clammy. At first I thought it might be the <\/span><\/span>food I just ate<\/span><\/span> didn’t agree with me, <\/span><\/span>although<\/span><\/span> the closer I got to my <\/span><\/span>parents <\/span><\/span>house…\u00a0I<\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span> hit me. <\/span><\/span>I knew<\/span><\/span> that when I<\/span><\/span>‘d<\/span><\/span> open the front door, I’d normally say, I’m h<\/span><\/span>ere, hi <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span>mam<\/span><\/span>, hi dad<\/span><\/span> and hear my mother reply, \u201cI’m in here, Helen.\u201d However, t<\/span><\/span>oday and every other time I would walk through that door, <\/span><\/span>I wouldn’t ever hear her voice anymore.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We reached the front door, my trembling hand <\/span><\/span>on <\/span><\/span>the handle. I pushed down and stepped into the little foyer and called out, \u201cHi daddy.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My <\/span><\/span>father <\/span><\/span>was sitting in his usual chair, he <\/span><\/span>looked over his shoulder<\/span><\/span>, smiled and said, \u201cHelen.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I smiled back and m<\/span><\/span>y heart dropped into a new abyss of loss and sadness. I took a few steps towards my dad, his left arm welcoming me. We hugged and cried together <\/span><\/span>and a<\/span><\/span>fter a little while we broke our hug and talked. Jason got introduced to his new father-in-law and my dad gave his nod of approval.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a name for the baby? My father asked.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The name rolled easily off my tongue, \u201cSeren Charity Elsa.\u201d I said.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My <\/span><\/span>father<\/span><\/span> looked at Jason then at me as tears rolled down his cheeks and with his not so clear speech he said, \u201cYour naming her Elsa.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid mammy<\/span><\/span> not tell you?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Salty tears made fresh tracks down my cheeks, Jason wrapped his arms lovingly around me, as I held my dad’s hand.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My father’s voice was a whisper, \u201cNo,\u201d he shook his head, \u201cElsa didn’t tell me.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I croaked out, \u201cIs it okay with you that we give the baby mam’s<\/span><\/span> name, dad<\/span><\/span>.\u201d He nodded and we hugged again. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I took <\/span><\/span>me <\/span><\/span>a couple of days to re-coup from the jet lag that held me in its tight grip and all the emotions that flowed through me. <\/span><\/span>I was extremely\u00a0<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>ver due<\/span><\/span>\u00a0in the sleep department. I\u00a0<\/span><\/span>knew I <\/span><\/span>had to regain a little more strength before the next hurdle <\/span><\/span>and t<\/span><\/span>hat hurdle was… <\/span><\/span>My mothers<\/span><\/span> grave.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sunday morning was visiting with friends and other family member at church. That was followed,\u00a0with a good old home cooked roast chicken dinner. After the plethora of dishes were washed, dried and put to bed in their designated cupboards, my sisters, Judith, Kaye and I made the short journey by car to The Box Cemetery. From where we stood there was a clear sight line of the fields which we played in as children, and the ocean, a most tranquil place for a final resting place, <\/span><\/span>I thought. I t<\/span><\/span>urned and took a couple of steps forward, my eyes contemplated <\/span><\/span>the<\/span><\/span> muddy, covered grave, dotted with small bunches of withering flowers. My eyes misted over, it was hard to look at the brown soil in which my mother’s body lay all alone.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOnce the ground had settled only then w<\/span><\/span>ill<\/span><\/span> they set <\/span><\/span>mam’s<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> headstone in place.\u201d Judith said amidst her sniffles.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

No words we<\/span><\/span>re<\/span><\/span> needed as we lovingly cleared the decaying<\/span><\/span>\u00a0flowers and replaced them with fresh bunches of perky yellow daffodils and deep purple irises. Judith, Kaye and I cried as I said my emotional goodbye to my mother <\/span><\/span>then g<\/span><\/span>entle raindrops began to speckle the ground and <\/span><\/span>tickle<\/span><\/span> our eyelashes and noses. We burst out laughing, with our eyes looking up at the sky, we said, \u201ctypical!\u201d <\/span><\/span>C<\/span><\/span>louds did have a sliver lining <\/span><\/span>as<\/span><\/span> their sprinkling clear droplets helped to wash away our sadness. <\/span><\/span>We<\/span><\/span> returned to Judith’s home, <\/span><\/span>I <\/span><\/span>emotionally spent and I need<\/span><\/span>ed<\/span><\/span> to calm my\u00a0<\/span><\/span>3<\/span><\/span>6 week baby Seren who was tumbling and tossing in my belly <\/span><\/span>and a<\/span><\/span> bar of Cadburys Dairy Milk, did just that.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

****************<\/p>\n

I’d asked Judith to be with me and Jason in the labor room. After witnessing my mother’s death, I thought witnessing the birth of her niece would be a new start and it was. Seren Charity Elsa, came into this world on <\/span><\/span>Monday <\/span><\/span>March<\/span><\/span> 22, 2010,<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/sup><\/span>Weighing 7lbs 1oz, <\/span><\/span>Tears ran freel<\/span><\/span>y<\/span><\/span> as we all gazed upon our sweet baby girl. After a couple of hours of broken sleep and nursing Seren, my family came to visit me that evening. Everyone’s eyes lit up like Christmas tree lights, bright and twinkling there was much oohing and aahing at the bright pink bundle of joy before them. They \u00a0were in awe at the shocking mop of dark black <\/span><\/span>brown<\/span><\/span> hair, donned with a pink hair clip already. My sisters, Judith and Kaye took their turn to cradle Seren, then it was my father’s turn.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

With Seren lovingly nestled in his left arm, <\/span><\/span>my father<\/span><\/span> gently rested her on his lap <\/span><\/span>and as he<\/span><\/span> gazed upon our sweet and innocent little girl, he said \u201cHello, Seren Charity Elsa.\u201d His voice crack<\/span><\/span>ing<\/span><\/span> when he said Elsa. <\/span><\/span>A<\/span><\/span> sprinkling of tears trickled down his cheeks and softly landed on his Granddaughter’s blanket. My sisters and I were all sniffling as we wiped away the tears. My brother in law, Mike and my nephews, Matthew, Justin and Joshua looked forlorn. It was sweet baby Seren who broke the melancholy as she squirmed and squeaked, my dad motioned for me to take her from him. The rest of the visiting hours were spent chatting and snapping pictures followed by hugs and kisses goodbye until tomorrow. Two days later I was back at my sisters home. The next couple of weeks slipped away <\/span><\/span>all too<\/span><\/span> quickly and <\/span><\/span>after I got the <\/span><\/span>all clear for myself and Seren, I swaddled <\/span><\/span>her up and laid her in the stroller. I bundled <\/span><\/span>and we went for a little walk.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHi mam<\/span><\/span>, guess who I’ve brought with me today?\u201d I smile as I bent over and scooped up Seren.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I stood next to my mother’s grave with my new baby daughter in my arms and said, \u201cHer she is mam<\/span><\/span>, Seren has come to say hello.\u201d I smiled and looked at Seren. \u201cOh, mammy…\u201d Tears brimmed and spilled down my cheeks, \u201cI wished you could have hung on a little longer and been here to see your new granddaughter.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Silence.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIsn’t she beautiful mam<\/span><\/span>.\u201d Seren stirred and opened her <\/span><\/span>little <\/span><\/span>eyes.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Silence.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Judith stayed with me in the labor room, she said it was an amazing experience being there when Seren’s tiny little head popped out covered with all <\/span><\/span>her<\/span><\/span> hair!\u201d I giggled away my tears. I continued to ramble on, choking back my emotion<\/span><\/span>s<\/span><\/span>, \u201cI’ll be flying back to America soon mam<\/span><\/span> and I don’t know when I’ll be back to visit.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Thin rays of sunshine fell upon my face and Seren <\/span><\/span>as <\/span><\/span>i<\/span><\/span>t’s<\/span><\/span> warmth swept away my sadness. <\/span><\/span>It left me with a<\/span><\/span> peaceful feeling, that all will be well as the words of the songs my mother would sing to me, echoed through my mind…\u00a0<\/span>We’ll keep a welcome in the hillside and Till we meet again.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That day Seren came to smile hello to a grandmother she never got to cuddle with\u00a0and me, I<\/span> got to cry goodbye to my dear mother, Elsa.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My mother battled that horrible word, Cancer for 16 years. At th<\/span><\/span>e time<\/span><\/span> her diagnosis was not good, not only had it claimed her left\u00a0breast, i<\/span><\/span><\/span>t<\/span><\/span>\u00a0also invaded her lymph nodes and the doctors told her she only had two years maximum. She <\/span><\/span>wouldn’t and<\/span><\/span> didn’t accept that, <\/span><\/span>and<\/span><\/span> with a lifestyle change, extremely healthy eating, she kept fighting those mini battles. Her last year was the hardest and it was not because of the Cancer. <\/span><\/span>Yes, it had<\/span><\/span> weakened her body, not her resolve. What stole my mothers last breath and made her lose the war was,\u00a0MND \u2013 Motor Neurons Disease (ALS\/Lou Gehrig in the USA) <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(You may also be wondering as to why my father had\/has difficulty speaking and unable to hand me my new baby daughter, Seren in the hospital. Well, life dealt him a hard knock at the young age of 41, leaving him paralyzed on his whole left side of his body \u2013 and that my friends is another memoir)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Copyright 2014 Helen Feriante.\u00a0All Rights Reserved.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This lesson was not the easiest to write. I hope you stick with it as I felt I\u00a0had to give you the whole memoir. Again, your comments and critique is welcomed. Enjoy Say Hello, Cry Goodbye. Not even the expanse … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":96,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[57,58,54,55,59,56,15],"class_list":["post-805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lesson-4","tag-als","tag-baby","tag-heartache","tag-loss","tag-love","tag-mnd","tag-mother"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/96"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=805"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":848,"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions\/848"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/how-to-write-a-memoir.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}