The assignment was to listen to a song that brings back memories, then to write for 10 minutes about that/those memories. I chose to write about a time just before I became a Christian and lived a pretty unsavory lifestyle to my taste now.
Song: Days n’ Days “F**k It”
There was a freedom in those early days. There was a lack of care and responsibility. Driving around carelessly, the biggest and most important goal of the day was drinking more and passing the time. Finding something entertaining to do. It was freedom on the outside, living rebelliously because we were there “other”. We were embracing our “otherness”. It was an acceptance that we were powerless to anything larger than our own ability to sedate ourselves. It was a putting up of hands and saying “F**k it” and learning how to be free. There was not much to do, so we spent hours chain smoking and dreaming up a future that would never come. It was the best and worst of times, ignorant to anything that didn’t affect me or what I cared about. I was self indulgent and selfish. There was a freedom in the grit and there was type of sick virtue to it all. We had embraced our lower-middle class stature. We were born into this without a choice, why not make the choice to feel good? We couldn’t control much, but what we could control we did. We didn’t have an urge to preserve ourselves, because, after all, what was the point? We had each other and that was all we needed. We passed the time with nicotine stained hands and alcohol induced arguments about nothing. Chasing passions that meant nothing but self glorification. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. We loved and hated ourselves because we knew the strange comfort of not being enough. We died to the idea of more. God was an idea we couldn’t relate to. God was in everything, but we searched for him at the bottom of bottles. It was the best of times, it was the worst of time. Our demons danced the nights away with us and we fed them the best food and drinks we could buy them.
It was long days full of caffeine and adrenaline and late nights full of gin, tonic and cigarettes. We couldn’t do much more than that. We were destructive and wanted to tear down society and dismantle it’s sickness, thinking we could do that with calloused elbows on a bar stool. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
10 possible ideas to write about:
-My spiritual journey
-Moving as a child
-Church of Christ
-Urban edible landscapes